It’s now been almost two weeks since I got my military haircut, and I think everyone is getting used to it. I know that I am. I don’t have to whine while I get brushed; I feel much lighter as I run around the house like a crazy girl (something I’m trying to limit to two or three times a day, so as not to get in the way of my napping); and I can squeeze into smaller spaces around the house (sometimes, a girl just needs her privacy).
But, I’m now wearing an old schmatte, since I cannot find my beautiful Princess sweater! I was wearing it the other night while I relaxed in front the heater and absorbed body heat from my real mama. Then, the sweater was taken off of me (and, boy, was I glad; I mean, I love my pink pullover, but I feel so restricted when I wear it, not the free-spirit that I really am) and – well – since then, no one has seen it. There are several theories of what happened to it:
- It has fallen between cushions of a couch, and won’t be found for a while, since we’re all kind of anxious about what we might find if we remove those cushions
- I ate it by accident, thinking that it was a giant pink piece of cheese (this is unlikely, because it was kind of big and it would have been hard for me to take it and go into another room to eat it, as I do with most meals)
- It was taken by the hedgehogs or squirrels or mice or monkeys or whatever lives under the shed. I mean, they could have easily tunneled through the three-or-so feet of snow we have, snuck under the steps, waiting for everyone to be distracted by my antics (rolling around on my back like I have an itch on my spine, running through the house with a toy because I like running through the house with a toy, or licking the face [including eyes, eyebrows, cheeks, nose, chins, and more…that’s right, I said “and more”] of someone who is providing me with either body heat or Cheerios [yup, I am that easy]). I mean, think about it: it’s cold under that shed, and the creatures who live under there (and – if you’ll allow me a digression – a group that I’ve been nothing by friendly to, if by “friendly” you mean “bark at, yip at, and run after in a failed attempt to be an alpha dog”) are pretty good at tunneling, else they’d live somewhere that was sunnier than our shed’s lower level.
- Dogs from the future, having read this blog, saw the cute photo of me (scroll down a couple of entries) and after having developed a high level of intelligence (and were, hence, somehow related to me, since I’m pretty sure that my dog IQ is – like – 11 [I don’t like to brag, but sometimes it’s needed]) and the ability to build a time machine, came back from the future to get my beautiful sweater.
Right now, I think it’s the “dogs from the future” that took it, but I didn’t smell anything peculiar the morning after my sweater went missing. Although, since they are from the future, they’ve probably developed techniques to hide their dogginess. Hmmm.
Okay, so no new sweater (right now) for this little girl, but I do have a cool winter jacket (did you see the new photo of me at the top of my blog…and, yes, that is a new computer that I’m using, since the old one had a tendency to grab my nails when I hit certain keys (I’m looking at you, “q”) and this one has more a “chicklet” keyboard whi…mmmm, chicklets. I’m sliding into a reverie…”chicklet” reminds me of chicken and I love chicken, especially when my mama boils me up a fresh batch, and someone feeds it to me by hand. It’s really troublesome to me that I have to live in such world, one in which I sometimes have to eat food by myself and every now and then, {can’t. bring. self. strength. to. type. word. but. will. to. satisfy. curiosity. of. many. fans} dog food. But, that’s a topic for another day. So, yeah, the jacket is fun, and has fake fur around the hood (at least, I hope it’s fake, since it reminds me of my own fur…hey, what did the groomer do with it…I’ll have to get on that right away after the next of my seventeen naps that I like to take during the day) and I think I look marvelous in it.
But, it’s not my pretty pink sweater.
Oh, sure, I’m wearing that schmatte right now, and it’s not bad (I do kind of like the peace sign that’s attached to it, since I am so against being mean to others, except if the “others” are hedgehogs. Or mice. Or monkeys. Or other dogs).
So, my search goes on for that sweater. If somehow you, dear reader, happen to find it (because maybe those dogs from the future came across a chronosynclastic infindibulum, and they inadvertently dropped my beautiful sweater somewhere in or around where ever you are as you read this), please drop me a note, or send me an email, or send me a text. Ooops, forgot that I don’t have a phone. Darned lack of opposable thumbs.
Arf, Yip, Yip, Yip
Izzi
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