A star is weaned

Friends, family, and fans,

Rozi here. I told Izzi that I didn't need her for today's entry, and that she could go fix me something to eat. I hope she remembers how much I enjoy a nice piece of warm chicken, otherwise I'll have to send her back to the kitchen.

Anyway, as many of you know, photographs from my recent modeling gig (which we wrote about at the time) was - as I expected - picked up by the media and so it's been just a whirlwind week for me. I thought you might enjoy having a peek into what it's like to be a celebrity, so I'll give you the blow-by-blow.

It started with that photo shoot on that cool autumn day. I probably didn't share with you the fact that there were several outfits waiting for us: the devil outfit for me and the angel outfit for my sister. We had bags and bags of other items to try on, but we didn't feel that they really enhanced our personalities. (I mean, why would our mama have pulled out a football uniform for me and evening dress for my sister?) or were just plain not flattering (a sheet with holes in it? really?). And, with all the hair and makeup work we had done, it was a very tiring but fulfilling day.

Then, our mama sent the photographs to some important people in the fashion world, which I'm pretty sure included Armani, Dior, and Rosie O'Donnell. The first bites we got was a note back from the editor of the local newspaper, a quaint publication called the Minuteman. And, an email from the editor of an online publication known as the Patch.

What our mama (who Izzi and I agreed could act as our agent, receiving the 99.9% commission that she told us were the standard in such situations) did then was to negotiate a few items. She demanded that pictures of both of us be on the front page, and that we be placed on the home page of the newspaper (which is using the "Internet" that my sister and I have heard so much about).

After some back and forth, our mama agreed to back off (a little) from her demands, and so it was agreed that the close-up of me be entered in the Patch’s Pet Halloween Costume Contest, and that we agree to a lesser position in the printed newspaper.

In the contest, I was up against some stiff competition, including an anorexic bulimic looking Yorkie in a too-big supergirl costume, a bugeyed pug wearing an orange shmatte (that mama said was supposed to be a pumpkin...ha!), and a lump of flesh wearing a pirate costume. There were others, but I can't even remember them right now. Much to Izzi's surprise, there were no chickens entered this year. Suffice it to say, it was clear that mine was the best costume. And, I'm now just waiting for the phone call to tell me that I've won, so I have that going for me.

Then, the newspaper arrived, and there I was! Smack dab in the middle of page 4, my full-length photo, in color, with a headline ("Devil Dog") and a little caption that talked about me. It even had my name in it!!!

As you can imagine (and the reason I haven't had a chance to write about this for a few days), it's been chaos here as mama fields the phone call, people come to our door looking for paw prints, and emails come flying in from around the world with people asking me for a picture or a lock of my hair (that'll have to wait until I'm at the groomer in a week or so), or they want marital advice (I would say to leave the slob if he won't let you get a second puppy, and don't look back!). At least, that's what mama has told me, since I can't pick up the phone when it rings, I'm too busy barking and whining when someone comes to the door, and I can't read so I'm not sure what the emails say. Anyway, it's just been a wonderful crazy time for me and I'm loving it.

Now, a few of you may worry about my sister (which reminds me, where is that snack that I asked for), and I can tell you that she's taking it very very well. She's so proud of me! She's even reduced the number of times she attacks me at random from five down to four, and one day this week, it was only three. I'm a lucky puppy.

But, I promise you, my fans, that I won't forget you, even as the arc of my career looks like a Pareto distribution function with theta=1000 and alpha=3 (I don't understand what my typist just said). I'm pretty sure that there's a phone call coming in having something to do with a remake of 'Benji' and there's apparently talk that it might be nice to have an 'Air Bud' starring a girl. I can see it now: 'Air Rozi'.

Well, I must go. We stars need our beauty rest, and there are only so many hours in the day!

Arf, Yip, Arf, Arf,
Rozi (and Izzi who just came back from the kitchen without broth with my chicken and now has to go back and get some. Bitch.)